bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
