Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
