EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
