I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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