JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize