ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
