So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
