i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
