We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
