Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So drunk its hurt
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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