Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
