Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
