i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
