Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
