Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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