i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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