ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
