please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
