so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
