I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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