someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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