Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
