i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
