I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
