is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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