i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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