Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
