i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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