haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
