We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
