Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
