i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
