My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
