Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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