I accidentally burped into my bong.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
