There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Someone shit on the floor
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
