The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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