Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
