so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
