i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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