Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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