The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
