Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
