I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
