...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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