so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
