Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
