problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
