im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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