I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
