VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
